外国人のお笑いブログ

OKAY. Tonight was amazing.

Short Version of the Day: I SAW HANNYA. KANADA INDIRECTLY MADE FUN OF ME IN THE AUDIENCE. I WAS SUPER CLOSE TO THE STAGE. THE SHOW WAS GREAT.

Long Version: So basically to explain from the entire start! I wanted to go to Live Stand 2009, but it was extremely expensive. So I found out about Yarisugi Fest! Much cheaper and Hannya would be there. cheap/Hannya = Win. So I wait until I get a bit of money & go to Family Mart to buy Hannya tickets.

BU BUU!
SOLD OUT, BOTH DAYS.
Destini's Face: T___T

So then! I come back to the room, and tell Gwendy they were sold out. Well she took a look at Yahoo! Auctions & found some tickets for only 1050 Yen. That's over half the price of the original tickets! So I buy now option them!

SHIKASHI!

Y! Auctions wont take Visa. "Visa jya nee shii!" basically. (Hannya reference. XD) So I'm like AHHHH DOSHIYOU. I tell my buddy Rachel & she tells me, "You should be able to send the money with a furikomi. That's how I buy through Y! Auctions." So she helps me out by e-mailing the seller, asking if furikomi is okay. He's fine with it! I'm in the clear!

So today comes. Hannya Day! I wake up & check the mail and sure enough, my ticket is there! So, after resting a bit more, I head to Shinjuku. The event was being held in Okubo Park.
At some point on the train, I realize that I left my contact at home. Part of me was like, "I need to go back!" but...I didn't. My vision up close wasn't horrid, but far away was. So I was basically praying that I had a closeish seat.

So I get to Shinjuku and from there I am completely lost as to where to go. I go to the Yarisugi site on my phone and look at the map. Blackberry Opera browser makes images look like poo-poo so I could barely make out anything on it.

I did remember that it's closer to Seibu Shinjuku line than JR Shinjuku line, so I head towards that. I'm mostly doing good (only had to ask one security guard) and eventually see some signs that say Okubo Park.


So as I'm walking I start to see signs that look like the one above. Eventually, I see a gaggle of people in line. Lemme start off with I was the ONLY gaijin there. Therefore, I got stared at like I was crazy. "Gaijin likes Hannya?! Is she in the right line?" etc etc.

So! I'm waiting & waiting. At one point I realize I'm in the line for people who wanted to buy tickets. So I moved to the I Already Have My Ticket Yay line and stood there for a bit. Then we were allowed in!


I saw all the stuff above and got someone to take a picture of me w/ them. :3 So then, I write a message of the huge white board the had out. It's below.



アメリカからきました！はんにゃダイスキ！- デスティニー

THEN! I went to go buy goods. I didn't have a lot so I got the cheapest thing. This clearfile! It's crazy right?! Why they have huge laundry clips on their tongue is out of my reach.

Anyways, so I'm walking & walking! Then we get to go in! I didn't realize they were calling numbers though & went in like 40 numbers late. Thank god I noticed when I did! So I asked a Staff, "Uhh can you help me find my seat?" and he was like, "Oh anywhere is fine."

Destini's Face/Reaction: O_O Maji de?

So I grab a seat in fourth row! This place is small too so I'm EXTREMELY CLOSE and can see (as much as my blindness will allow me!) pretty freakin' well. I end up being seated by three really nice girls. They'll show up again later in this report.

The show starts off with this epic mini-orchestra playing music on the side of the stage. No lie, I'm like, "What the fuck." It's my first comedy show and all but...wut. I guess it was so calm our souls for the madness?
So anyways, after the music, HANNYA EMERGES. IN (SAY WHAT?) YUKATA. I HAVE A HUGE GUY-IN-YUKATA FECCHI. So I'm like, "....ARDSGFHMNBRNDTIKTUHAHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Then, here comes the part that will forever be engrained in my memories. Kanada asks the audience where people came from tonight.

Random Person: Osaka!
Kanada: Aa~ Osaka.
Destini: AMERICA! (Keep in mind I said this with a Japanese inflection so they'd understand me.)
Kanada: AMERICA?! AMERICA JYA NEE SHI!
Destini: MAJI DA YO, MAJI! AMERICA KARA KIMASHITA NYAAAAAAAA!!!!!

...
I REALLY AM FROM AMERICA! ;____; Anyways, I wont lie, I was just amped that he responded to me. LMAO The girls by me are cracking up because they can clearly see I am a foreigner but THIS GUY...tch. SEE IF I EVER ZUKUDAN TO YOU AGAIN. I so will.
I think if I had said America like an American, they might've been like, "Woah. seriously?!" but since I was like, "Amerika~" it was like, "You sound Japanese! Lies!!!"

So the guests for the night are Shinagawa Shoji. I can't remember who said it but when they come out, someone goes, "America kara kimashita."

Destini: OI! MAJI DA YO, MAJI DESU TTE!

More laughing ensues. Stop making fun of my Maji-Americanness!!

They had this like one-on-one talk session with Hannya & Shinagawa Shoji. It's funny because if you've even used a tradition Japanese shower, you sit down in it on these plastic stools. Well they brought out full-sized chairs that look like them. Kanada was like, "These look like bathroom chairs...O_o."

Then! During the talk, some adorable kid in the audience goes, "Hannya!" it was TOO CUTE! Everyone on stage stood up like, "Huh? Who's kid is that?!" It was hilarious. Later the same kid was like, "Ganbare~" and they were like, "Hai, ganbare!" LMAO I loved it.

So then, the skit starts. I thought they were going to end up doing a lot of different skits (some of the favorites, a new one maybe) but no! It was one long skit. Like a play almost.

Anyhow, Hannya's theme was like "The World's Weakest Wrestler."

The story was that this wrestler, The Hammer was returning from hiatus after ten years. There are like pictures of this dude on the stage. Huge guy! Kanada is a staff member for the arena and a huge Hammer fan.

He's bringing promotional materials into the Hammer's locker room and is generally trying to make things look presentable. His manner just turns out looking really goofy though, 'cause he keeps refixing things that don't need to be fixed and you know. Silliness.

Hammer's manager (played by Kawashima) comes in and Kanada's all, "NYAA I LOVE THE HAMMER! LOOK WHAT I CAN DO~" and proceeds to imitate the Hammer.

HAMMER PUNCH!
HAMMER KICK! (which was just him spinning 360 degrees with his leg sticking straight out.)
Then the HAMMER YELL, which sounded like, "HA-HA-HAMMA!!!!!!"

He's being a fanboy. After some more shenanigans, the manager notices that Hammer is running late. So he checks and I'm pretty sure the joke was that he sent Hammer to the wrong venue. So they're freaking out because apparently, this is some long/awaited return. The manager then tells Kanada, "You can pretend to be Hammer!"

So, because some of you probably don't know how skinny Kanada is, allow me to show you.



He's downright gangly!  He had to portray a wrestler, with a girth similar to this image . So as you can imagine, when Kanada emerged in basically a black tank top and biker shorts, it was hilarious. People were like, "HOSOI!" (Skinny!!) 'cause...he is.

To add, the Hammer is a luchador. I don't know why! He has the mask and everything though. So the mask fits on Kanada like a helmet. He looks retarted.

Then, random people keep coming in. First a janitor who's all, "OMG THE HAMMER I LOVE HIM." Then later this guy starts stealing stuff until the Kanada!Hammer returns and scares him. They were both scared, actually.



Then some old fellow wrestler with freakish shoulders shows up. I think he can like dislocate them. It's creepy as hell. I was thinking, "YARISUGI!!!!" (You're doing too much!!)

Then a reporter and his photographer. Then I think it's some old childhood fan. All these people basically keep getting close to finding out this guy either isn't the Hammer or are just like, "How'd you get so skinny?!" It's a pretty funny show all together.

I really liked what I could understand. Granted, a lot went over my head but part of the reason I like Hannya is because I don't need to fully understand them to enjoy them. They do a lot of physical comedy which has no language barrier so I'm pretty sure that's why I'm such a big fan.

I prefer their skits than regular manzai 'cause manzai kind of requires you to really understand Japanese. It's like stand up in America. If you can't understand English, it's kinda boring.

So the show concludes! They do an introduction of all the participants and bow and such. It's over. Aww. Afterwards, the girls I'm sitting are like,

You're really from America? (Yes.)
Did you come to Japan just to see Hannya? (Not exactly?!)
Where in America are you from? (Las Vegas.)
How do you know Japanese? (I studied in school.)
Who do you like in Hannya? (Kanada)
What other comedians do you like? (Shizuru, Bananaman, FUJIWARA, Morisanchuu, Harisenbon, Furupon, etc etc)
You have Owarai Popolo?! (Yes O_O)

And others! Then we all leave & they ask me to take a picture with them (I don't know why!) In the first one, I posed normally and then second I did the Zukudan pose.

Then the girl on my right ended up having to go on the exact same two trains as me so we rode home together! I used Japanese the best I could. I got her email~ She's very nice.

...that's about it. When Kawashima updates his blog, I'm gonna comment & tell him I'm actually from America & that he should tsukkomi Kanada. then hug him!
and yeah. T_T


はんにゃ最高！！！